


All my Secrets

by MissHazelA



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-20
Updated: 2013-01-20
Packaged: 2017-11-26 04:17:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/646479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissHazelA/pseuds/MissHazelA
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sebastian isn’t very good at talking about his feelings, so he finds a way to tell Blaine how much he loves him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All my Secrets

It started with a blue post-it note.

Blaine had been working on a new song for most of the previous week, and that warm spring afternoon was no exception. He’d been on the couch since near nine a.m. and was surrounded by half-finished sheet music, which was fanned out over the coffee table, draped around the arms of the couch, and fluttering occasionally to the floor.

Sebastian, meanwhile, had taken over the kitchen table with his notebook and old, worn out copies of Shakespeare, attempting to finish an uncooperative paper about _The Tempest_. He’d been near silent for the last few hours, minus the occasional frustrated crumpling of paper and an angry sigh as he tossed it to the other side of the kitchen, where a heap had slowly begun collecting throughout the day.

Blaine didn’t hear Sebastian going into the bedroom and grabbing his wallet and keys. He was so caught up in the song, being _almost but not quite_ happy with the bridge, that he didn’t even look up until Sebastian reached into his field of vision to put a blue post-it note on the table in front of him, before giving him a smile and walking out the front door.

“ _Can’t stand this paper anymore. Going for a walk. Song sounds good._ ”

From that day on it became another one of the little things Sebastian did. When Blaine was busy or needed quiet or just didn’t want to be disturbed, Sebastian would write down whatever he wanted to say and leave it somewhere for Blaine to find, giving him the option to respond or not. Blaine also noticed that Sebastian wrote compliments into his notes almost every time. When they spoke, he made remarks about Blaine’s looks, always the unstoppable flirt. But when he wrote them down, it was different. They were simple, honest remarks like “ _I missed you today_ ,” something he would _never_ admit out loud. He also used the notes to say “I love you” more than ever before.

Later, he would never remember who started it, but they soon began leaving notes around the apartment for the other to find. They started out silly: Sebastian sticking a note that said “ _Nice ass_ ” on the bathroom mirror, Blaine responding with “ _I think you look good in these_ ” tucked into the pocket of Sebastian’s black jeans. They would laugh when they found the notes in unexpected places (Sebastian always got points for his creative hiding spaces, once managing to stick a note that said “ _I’ll love you even if you get fat_ ” on the inside of the pizza box one night they’d ordered takeout), tease each other about the messages and steal a quick kiss for good measure.

It was that note, silly but serious at the same time, that marked the change. Sebastian began writing notes more frequently and they took a more honest tone.

He found “ _You’re beautiful_ ” stuck to the headboard one morning, just above his pillow.

One evening after class he found “ _I know you dance around the room when you think I don’t see you, and it’s cute_ ,” stuck on his guitar case.

 “ _The way you sing as you cook dinner makes me really happy_ ,” was hidden in the kitchen cabinet.

He let it continue for about a week, finding one or two notes per day, before he grabbed the pad of post-its and wrote his own. He stuck it to the cover of the book Sebastian left on the nightstand, then went out to see Jeff like he’d been planning to all week so he was out of Sebastian’s hair and the other boy could get some studying done for his midterm.

“ _None of your secrets can scare me away_ ,” it said.

He came in late and the apartment was dark except for the kitchen light, which they left on for each other when one of them went out. There were no notes left for him on the counter, or the bedroom door, so he figured Sebastian had fallen asleep after a long night of studying. He tiptoed in and changed into his pajamas as quietly as he could, then slipped into bed, resting his forehead against his boyfriend’s back.

When he woke up, Sebastian was already out and gone for the day, which was pretty normal. Two blue post-its were stuck to the headboard above him.

“ _You sure?_ ” asked the first.

“ _By the way, locking myself in the library all day. Midterm tomorrow. Promise I’ll stop being a lousy boyfriend when it’s done_ ,” read the second.

That night, before he went to bed (alone), he wrote one more note and stuck it to the closet door, so Sebastian would see it in the morning when he got dressed. Then he read his book for a while buried under the blankets, drifting off comfortably to sleep, waking only when the mattress dipped and Sebastian curled up around him and pressed a soft kiss to the back of his neck.

“Hey you,” he whispered.

Sebastian buried his face in Blaine’s curly hair and responded so softly that the other boy felt it against his back more than he heard it. “Sorry I woke you.”

“It’s okay,” he responded as he turned over on his other side so they were face to face. “I missed you today.”

“I know. I promise you won’t have to share me with economics after tomorrow. Go back to sleep.” Sebastian’s voice was already beginning to fade as he drifted off.

There were no notes in the morning when Blaine woke, Sebastian long gone to the library for last-minute studying. He looked around for them-all the usual spots in the bedroom and some of the odd hiding places Sebastian had hidden them before, in the kitchen and even in the pockets of the jeans he had left slung over his desk chair. Nothing.

He was disappointed but tried not to let it bother him too much as he showered, made himself something to eat, and got to work on the finishing touches of the song he’d been working on most of the semester.

Around twelve thirty his phone buzzed with a text message from Sebastian. “Midterm FINISHED! I’m bringing back takeout. Hope you’re home. I need to see you.”

When Sebastian came home an hour later with a ridiculously large paper bag of takeout from their favorite Chinese restaurant, Blaine practically tackled him. Sebastian laughed, even as he nearly dropped the bag, and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend, lifting him up on his toes. “Hey, you.”

“Sorry,” Blaine laughed, blushing. “I missed you this week.”

“I missed you too.” He leaned down to kiss his cheek. “I’m so glad that midterm is over. Come on, let’s put on a movie. I need to not think about anything for a while.”

They put on _Big Fish_ , one of Sebastian’s favorites, and dug into the Chinese food without the formalities of plates or napkins. Blaine leaned into Sebastian’s shoulder and snuggled as close as possible, trying to make up for a very long week with almost no contact.

He was so focused on the movie that he didn’t notice Sebastian moving until he felt a gentle press on his knee. When he looked down, there was a yellow post-it stuck on his jeans. He smiled as he recognized his handwriting from the night before.

“ _I’ll tell you mine if you tell me yours_.”

Sebastian twirled a fine-tip marker between his long fingers. His other hand fidgeted with the pad of post-it notes they’d been using for the last few weeks—one of the big, multi-colored ones, now down to the last section. He worried his lower lip with his teeth, then began to write a note, which he stuck on Blaine’s leg when he finished.

“ _When I was a kid I ran away to join the circus._ ”

Blaine laughed a little, then stole the marker and pad away to write his own, which he stuck on Sebastian’s knee.

“ _I slept with a teddy bear until sophomore year._ ”

Sebastian chuckled, and took the pad back. They went back and forth for a long time, writing down their secrets and sticking them on each other’s legs and chests, reading them silently one by one, smiling and occasionally laughing.

From Sebastian, “ _I couldn’t cook when we started dating. I learned in hopes of impressing you._ ”

From Blaine, “ _I thought “I Want You Back” was REALLY sexy._ ”

From Sebastian, “ _I still can’t believe you agreed to move in with me and my ridiculous schedule and messiness._ ”

From Blaine, “ _I pretend to check my phone when you annoy me._ ”

From Sebastian, “ _I HATE your brother. Sorry. But he’s a tool._ ”

From Blaine, “ _It’s okay, I only pretend to like your friends._ ”

There was a long pause before Sebastian wrote again. When he finally did, he stuck it to Blaine’s forehead in an attempt at levity, but he could see the worry in his eyes. He took the note and glanced once at Sebastian before reading it.

“ _My worst fear is you leaving me._ ”

Blaine was speechless. They had shared secrets before over the years of dating, especially tonight, but never before had Sebastian shared something so deeply, intensely personal. What could he possibly say?

Sebastian’s cheeks were flushed. He was twisting his fingers nervously in his lap, something he only did when he was truly terrified. Blaine had seen him do it only twice in all the years they had known each other.

He reached out and covered Sebastian’s hands with his own, even though his boyfriend still refused to meet his eyes. Finally, he climbed over and straddled Sebastian’s lap, pressing a soft kiss to his mouth.

“I love you _so_ much, Sebastian,” he whispered against his boyfriend’s lips. Sebastian’s arms looped around his waist and he kissed him, intensely, over and over again. “I’m not going to leave you.”

“Promise me?” Sebastian asked so quietly that even though they were pressed close enough to breathe each other’s breaths he barely heard it.

“I promise. My secret…” He kissed Sebastian again, softly, cupping his face. “My secret is that I love you so much it scares me sometimes…except when I’m with you. I’m never afraid when I’m with you.”

Sebastian smiled against his lips. “You should write that one down.”


End file.
